google2007年愚人节的玩笑还是很有意思的:基于下水道的无线网络
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Easy to install -- takes just minutes
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Press Release How TiSP Works FAQ
Google TiSP (BETA) is a fully functional, end-to-end system that provides in-home wireless access by connecting your commode-based TiSP wireless router to one of thousands of TiSP Access Nodes via fiber-optic cable strung through your local municipal sewage lines.
Installing a typical home TiSP system is a quick, easy and largely sanitary process -- provided you follow these step-by-step instructions very, very carefully.
#1 Remove the spindle of fiber-optic cable from your TiSP installation kit. #2 Attach the sinker to the loose end of the cable, take one safe step backward and drop this weighted end into your toilet. |
#3 Grasp both ends of the spindle firmly while a friend or loved one flushes, thus activating the patented GFlush™ system, which sends the weighted cable surfing through the plumbing system to one of the thousands of TiSP Access Nodes. #4 When the GFlush is complete, the spindle will (or at least should) have largely unraveled, exposing a connector at the remaining end. Detach the cable from the spindle, taking care not to allow the cable to slip into the toilet. |
#5 Plug the fiber-optic cable into your TiSP wireless router, which has a specially designed counterweight to withstand the centripetal force of flushing. #6 Insert the TiSP installation CD and run the setup utility to install the Google Toolbar (required) and the rest of the TiSP software, which will automatically configure your computer's network settings. |
#7 Within sixty minutes -- assuming proper data flow -- the other end of your fiber-optic cable should have reached the nearest TiSP Access Node, where our Plumbing Hardware Dispatchers (PHDs) will remove the sinker and plug the line into our global data networking system. #8 Congratulations, you're online! (Please wash your hands before surfing.) |
Note: If you have any difficulty installing, operating or simply living with TiSP, we suggest joining the TiSP Help Group.
Professional Installation Service
You can also choose to request our professional installation service, which dispatches an army of factory-trained, sub-contracted nanobots from the TiSP Access Node. The nanobots travel with exhilarating nano-speed through the sewer system and into your home to perform the installation service, which should be complete within 15 minutes. Note: For your own physical safety and emotional well-being and in consideration of the nanobots' working conditions, please make absolutely certain that your toilet is unoccupied at the scheduled appointment time.
In-Commode Package Delivery
With professional installation service, you can also have your Google Checkout purchases delivered directly through the sewage network into your bathroom. Each package comes pre-sealed in a watertight and nanobot-resistant bag made of biodegradable corn-based plastic. For a limited time, TiSP subscribers who sign up for a Checkout account will receive free bathroom delivery on their first ten Checkout purchases.
TiSP for Enterprise
We're actively developing a higher-performance version of TiSP specifically tailored to small and medium-sized businesses, including 24-hour, on-site technical support in the event of backup problems, brownouts and data wipes.
Why should I switch to Google TiSP?
It's fast. In our testing, TiSP delivers a 10x higher flow rate than basic DSL.
It's FREE. No more paying hundreds of dollars a year for Internet service that doesn't even necessarily extend to your bathroom!
It's good for you. Your FREE TiSP service includes a Google Toolbar-based analysis of your dietary habits and genetic predispositions, along with recommendations for healthier living.
How can Google offer this service for free?
We believe that all users deserve free, fast and sanitary online access. To offset the cost of providing the TiSP service, we use information gathered by discreet DNA sequencing of your personal bodily output to display online ads that are contextually relevant to your culinary preferences, current health status and likelihood of developing particular medical conditions going forward. Google also offers premium levels of service for a monthly fee (see below).
Note: We take your privacy very seriously. So we treat all TiSP users' waste-related personal information with tremendous discretion, in accordance with our Privacy Policy.
Is this offering a tiered service? How does Google's position on Net Neutrality effect TiSP?
Although we understand that there's a lot of crap on the web, we also believe strongly in providing equal opportunity access to all our users. While we won't limit your surfing choices, we do offer three levels of TiSP service:
Trickle | The #2 | Royal Flush | |
Download speed (max) | 8 Mbps | 16 Mbps | 32 Mbps |
Upload speed (max) | 2 Mbps | 4 Mbps | 8 Mbps |
Price | Free | $9.95/mo. | $24.95/mo. |
Actual speeds will vary, depending on network traffic and sewer line conditions. Users with low-flow toilets may simultaneously experience a saving-the-environment glow and slower-data-speed blues. |
Is Google TiSP safe and reliable?
Google TiSP ensures reliable throughput through the power of fiber, which has been proven through extensive research to effectively facilitate consistent data flow with minimal latency. And you can rest assured that under no circumstances will the TiSP system ever expose your privates.
What are the system requirements?
Windows XP/Vista (Mac and Linux support coming soon)
Internet Explorer 6.0+ or Firefox 1.5+ with the Google Toolbar
Round-front or elongated toilet providing at least 1.0 gallons per flush
Use of automatic toilet bowl cleaners is not recommended
Does my water company support TiSP?
TiSP was developed with the support and assistance of a large number of major metropolitan water companies. A full list of companies that support TiSP is available here. If yours isn't listed, please contact them to verify their ongoing and unstinting support before you even think about signing up for TiSP service.
Can I use TiSP if my home uses a septic system?
Sorry, but no -- TiSP requires the use of a central sewer system to connect your home to the Internet.
Can I still use my toilet after installing TiSP?
Do we look stupid? Needless to say, the fiber optic cable that enables TiSP will not interfere with your toilet's regular operations. For your own convenience, however, you may eventually wish to hire a professional contractor to help route the cable under, or through, the toilet seat to your TiSP wireless router.
In what countries is this service available?
TiSP is available today in the U.S. and Canada. Google has formed an international consortium of utility companies, sewage system experts, toilet manufacturers, and plumbers to develop solutions to the many problems facing all "dark porcelain"-based data-delivery innovators.
Can I use this service when I'm away from home?
Sorry, but no -- TiSP is not available outside the home at this time. We are, however, currently developing a mobile feature called TiSP on the Run (TiSPOTR), which we expect to make available in the near future.
I'm having trouble installing or using TiSP.
Your internet connection should be working within one hour of GFlushing the sinker. If you still aren't online after that period of time, your toilet may be clogged. Please flush three more times, then check your online connection again. If you're still experiencing problems, drop eight mints into the bowl and add a two-liter bottle of diet soda. For further assistance, please visit the TiSP Help Group.
Does my net access have to be wireless?
Not necessarily, but our user studies have found that without wireless connectivity, there was considerable "commode congestion" in an average 2.5-person household whose one bathroom typically can provide a comfortable workspace for just one user at a time. We therefore strongly recommend using the wireless connection to alleviate potential multi-user congestion and encourage widespread "couch computing."
Why is TiSP in beta?
When things go wrong with TiSP, they go very, very wrong. Let's leave it at that.
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《抽水马桶的秘密》读者评论:
(1)你的书很好看,比大刘,王晋康的创意好太多了,努力吧将来出实体书我一定会买的。(2)很有想象力的作者啊!!估计是看了不少科幻小说的人,希望不要浪费你非凡的想象力。 (3) 读者在自己博客或论坛对《抽水马桶的秘密》的评论。(4)点击此处查看全部的读者评论(18页,1000条以上)。
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《抽水马桶的秘密》内容简介:
地球哺乳界正在发生的一次大规模跨物种升级,DNA机制并非人们所想像的那样是决定生命的最终遗传载体,而是类似浏览器这样的转译机制,真正的遗传物质存储在弥漫整个宇宙的光子数据库中,DNA机制实际上是一种设定了进化路径的文明压缩包的解压机制,数十亿年前灭绝的三栖人发明了光子数据库和DNA机制,目的是为了让这个机制最终复活三栖人文明,而人类(裸猿)这一物种在三栖人社会里其实是一种宠物,但是DNA机制似乎出现了点问题,或者说不知道什么原因裸猿突然变得太过聪明了,在播撒了始祖菌(DNA种子)的所有星球,进化路径发展到裸猿阶段,并没有继续演化出最后一步:三栖人,而强大的光子数据库一旦意识到DNA进化机制的这个漏洞,立刻关闭了这些星球对光子数据库的访问权限,这样,这些星球的生态系统都面临着灭绝的危险,因为他们脱离了光子数据库的遗传支持再也无法自然繁殖,只能靠遗传工程来复制现有的基因,或者做些小打小闹的修改,整个宇宙各星球上的基于DNA机制的生态系统都面临崩溃的危险。最终在13世纪,裸猿一族在银河边缘一个不起眼的小星系发现了地球这个由于某种原因至今还刚进化到裸猿初级阶段的星球,为了催熟地球的进化速度,外星裸猿文明开始介入地球的发展,为了防止光子数据库察觉到非地球文明的介入并关闭地球的权限,这种介入始终是暗中进行,因为介入方式的分歧,银河系裸猿文明分裂为两大集团,这两大集团的争斗伴随着人类近现代的发展,于是,文艺复兴开始了、三次科技革命出现了、两次世界大战也来了,直到今天,地球人类为自己的技术进步而沾沾自喜,丝毫不知道技术迅速发展的真正原因以及潜藏的危机。
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